2017-8-14 How To Win Friends and Influence
People
I read a book a long time ago
called "How to Win Friends and Influence People" but I didn't apply
any of it's teachings really, so it made no change in my life (just like the
Bible or the Book of Mormon, we can read the words of prophets but if we don't
change, it does us no good). Now, I'm applying some principles to my teaching
as a missionary and a person, and I've seen some immediate, remarkable results.
There is a culture
that if you're older, you don't have anything to learn from someone really
young. There is a lot of love and respect for the lolas and lolos here, the
senior generation. As missionaries, you have to be very bold and simple, with
love, in expressing that you believe everyone has good in them, the light of
Christ, but that only through baptism with proper authority in this church can
you attain everything that God has in store for you. Obviously there is more to
it but for now let's just leave it at that. I know it's true though, so I have
to let other people know, regardless if they are way senior to me and have more
experience.
About 6 months in my
mission we taught an extremely humble (extreme-humility is an oxymoron but work
with me here) lola who just absorbed everything. She felt the Spirit and
therefore trusted us to the utmost, disregarding everything she learned about
religion her whole life, she accepted every doctrine we taught her, applied it,
and realized it came from God (John 7:17). That was a huge exception,
because I've taught a lot of old people that didn't have that kind of trust in
us.
Now, I have been
applying some things I read in that book way back. One principle is, let people
know you care about their opinion, and that they are important, sincerely
important to you. Let them talk about the things they like, and they will be
much more willing to listen to what you have to say. So me and Elder Yates
applied this, we normally jump into teaching after about 1 minute of chatter
and small talk. This time though, we were teaching an older couple that are
about my grandparents age. We felt very impressed not to do what we always do,
but rather be courteous and thankful for their time. After a short
introduction, I thought to myself, what can I really learn from these people?
Then I was prompted to ask a question I have never asked anyone out here:
"You two obviously have a great family, you are successful, what is a good
age to get married?" We discussed their family, discussed the state of the
world and how problematic it can be for raising families, and immediately had a
springboard into a fantastic lesson. And the thing is, I genuinely wanted their
feedback. They were completely trusting with us after that, and the lesson has
been one I will never forget. At the end of a first lesson we usually make a
comment like this
"Heavenly Father
restored Christ's church by calling Joseph Smith as a prophet, and until now we
have living apostles and prophets. I know this to be true"
And the response is
usually pretty lukewarm. Sometimes people don't believe, or they are skeptical,
or they are a little confused, or they don't get the gravity of it. Someone
once said that the smartest people can imagine an idea, evaluate it and test it
in their head, without accepting it yet. Well we got the best response from
this older couple. They said "Wow that's a really big thing, we have never
heard this kind of news before. If that's true, then this church would
definitely be Christ's". They completely understood it, and now it's in
God's hands. We brought the message, showed respect, followed the Spirit in
what we shared and said, and now this couple have committed to pray and read
the Book of Mormon to see if this if from God. And I am so happy about this
simple thing, because I am completely confident their prayers will be
answered, because they were for me. I know I've talked a lot now about one
little experience, but it was so amazing to have a constructive moment with
other people, and to have the spirit so strongly.
Also, yesterday at
church I applied another principle from that book: Compliment people. Not
because you are trying to get something out of them, just because you're adding
to the overall happiness of man-kind, even by just a little. After the talks in
sacrament meeting, I hunted down the speakers and gave them honest compliments
about how their talks helped me and how great they were. It was sincere because
instead of just dozing off, I actually listened and looked for the good in the
talks, so that I could be specific.
I suggest the book in
the title and it's wisdom that is helping me get out of my shell. I know we are
all children of our Heavenly Father, and we ought to get along pretty
well. We are all trying to get home, and it's not a competition. The
gospel of Jesus Christ is like nothing else, because the highest achievements
are usually only done by a select few, but this is for everyone. It
is the highest achievement, and once we are on the path, we
have to help others to come with us. Thanks for reading, I love you all!
a legitimate typewriter in our stake president's office
It took us 15 minutes to relocate our friend here. He was not helping pay the bills, so we couldn't let him stay.
Classic preparation day: basketball and pandesal
We found out you can
mix tunes of the hymns with different lyrics if they have a similar meter. Try
singing Joseph Smith's First Prayer to the tune of of Come thou Fount of Every
Blessing. In the back of the hymn book is all of the meters if you want to play
with them.
Elder Fish
